Starting Over

Master has always wanted me to write daily, however I have not been.  So I am going to start this now.  I suppose I have gotten frustrated in the past because he never reads what I write, however I am pretty sure that is not the point.  I believe the point is to be focusing my thoughts on him daily.

Master allowed me to sleep in his bed last night.  I awoke this morning craving his cock in my mouth.  I had just sucked on him before bed so I was not sure if he would want me to again so soon.  I started rubbing his ass but he wanted me to massage his legs instead. 

I was craving him so deeply this morning.  He stood beside me while I was sitting at my computer and I started grabbing his ass.  He bent over with his hands on the back of his chair so I could access him better.  I rubbed him and grabbed at him.  I began to lick him between his cheeks, pushing my tongue inside his hole.  I stopped for a moment to ask he liked it when I touched him.

He said “Yes.  But its not just that I like it, it is a requirement.”

“Yes Master” I whispered.

“If you keep me satisfied, then I will satisfy you.”

I have been playing with Master off and on this morning.  But we keep getting interrupted so the tension has been building. 

Earlier I was so wet thinking of him and touching him that I began to touch myself.  He watched me and came over on the bed.  I took my fingers and used my wetness to lubricate his asshole and rubbed him the same as I was rubbing me.  Then I licked him clean.

Later on he stood by me and I was touching him all over, sucking at his tits, grabbing his ass, he had me lick the precum off a spot on his clothes and suck him through his underwear.  I was telling him how much I desired him in between licking him everywhere and he said

“Go ahead, cum all over yourself” and I exoloded orgasiming so strong, dripping all over my chair.  It was so powerful.  It is amazing how he never has to touch me to get me to cum.  It is his voice, the way  he gets in my head.  He  had that command over me from the beginning, even before we met in person. I asked him if he minded how much I desire him and how ravenous I get.  He said “Not at all. You just don’t know me that well”.  I get so uncomfortable letting go that much, wondering what he thinks of me.  I need to remember that he likes it, even if I think it is ugly.  Then I need to learn eventually to see my desire through his eyes and not my own.

We were finally able to get some extended time together.  By that point I was insatiable, sucking, licking and grabbing him everywhere.  I get overwhelmed by desire sometimes and just stop.  Like a kid in a candy store I cannot choose what I want next.  I am shaking with desire.  He helps me to continue.

I start to crave him inside me but that is not mine to ask for.  So I grab a dildo and first begin to suck on it.  He takes it from me and sucks it too.  Then he says he wants me to swallow all of it.  It is huge.  I lean over it and push it down as far as I can  but I gag near the end.  He tells me to try again. I push down farther, harder I can feel the cock pushing against both sides of my throat stretching it.  It hurts but I don’t care.  I want to please Master.  It is not far enough.  I try again, closer but not yet.  A single tear runs down my cheek.  He says “That is enough for today, you can practice again tomorrow. ” 

I take the dildo and rub it between my legs.  Master watches and mastrubates as well.  I slide it inside of me.  I say “Master I wish this was you inside of me.  I crave you so much.”  I start slamming the toy deep inside of me, faster and harder.  It hurts and I tell Master this.  I fuck myself with the toy until I cum.  I still feel insecure about mastrubating in front of Master especially bringing myself to orgasm.  But  he enjoys when I do and currently this is the only way I will receive stimulation in that manner so I am learning to lose my inhibitions. 

After I had cum on the dildo I pulled it from me and sucked my juices from it.  I began to rub my clit.  I was so wet from cumming and knowing Master was watching.  I rubbed his anus with my wet fingers to show him how much I desired him.  He told me to mastrubate for him till I came on my hand and then put my cum inside him.  I did as he said and came fast and hard.  I slid my wet fingers inside him. He kept having me repeat this.  I lost count how many times but I was cumming for him within about 10 seconds of touching myself each time. 

At one point I attempted to tell Master something I wanted him to do to me, but he told me I was pushing.  This was about him and I was trying to make it about me.  He told me I am not allowed to focus on what I want.  I am only allowed to focus on him and what he wants.  I understand. I need to focus solely on him and derive all my pleasure from his happiness.   I need to trust him, and believe that he will look out for me.  Most of the problems so far have been because I have not trusted him.

Our playtime went on for hours and left me in a quivering heap.  I am so lucky to serve Master.