Thrall Space

 1.   I was born and lived in the same small town for most of my life. 

2.   I am 32 years old.

3. When I was a child, I wanted to be a teacher.

4.  As a teenager, I was certain I would be a writer.

5. I am a nurse.

6. My dream now is to be a full time housewife, servant, and sex-toy, to Husband.

7. I am a Christian. 

8.  I am a submissive thrall and a masochist. Our relationship is of the 24.7 TPE variety. My sole purpose is to please him.

9. I first discovered my masochistic tendencies when I was 6. 

10. I truly began to  understand my submissive nature in 2004.

11. I met Husband on-line. I moved 1400 miles to be with him. We hadn’t met in person prior to my moving in with him.

12. Husband saved me from a bad situation and I will be eternally grateful.

13. This is my second marriage but my first Husband.

14. He is my owner, ruler, lover, reason for being. 

15. My favourite place is curled up at his feet.

16. We have 2 cats; Night Train and  Tabithah.  I love my kitties.

17. I am actually a dog person.  Pugs are my favourite dogs.  Husband hates dogs.

18. I was a goth as a teen.

19. I got my nose pierced when I was 13.  It was in Provincetown, Cape Cod during a family vacation.  My father paid me to go on that vacation so he could maintain his illusion of a happy family.

20. My favourite activities as a teen were  drinking, smoking pot, taking random pills, having sex, and being a smart-ass to authority figures.

21. I failed 9th grade, but skipped 11th.  I was sent to a boarding school for my second trip through 9th grade.  I lived there for 3 years until I graduated.

22. I had several “fuckbuddies” at that school.  I discovered the pleasures of hot wax with one friend and bondage with another.

23. I wore a choke collar for a necklace and would secretly enjoy it when the boys would walk up to me and pull it tight.

24. I had the most intense crush on my  best friend.  She was cute and small and blonde.   We used to sleep curled up together on the same bed and it took all of my strength not to touch her.  (Looking back I have reason to believe she felt the same way)

25. I am sexually bisexual but I could never have a relationship with a woman.

26. I was an only child. 

27. My father is 30 years older than my mother and 2 years older than her father. (Daddy complex anyone?)   He has 2 children from a previous marriage that are her age. 

28. My parents were narcissistic and crazy.  Before I met Husband I think I was becoming like them. 

29. I have been diagnosed with several mental disorders in my past and was on medication for 2 years.  I was suicidal off and on for 17 years.   I am much better these days. 

30. Neither Husband or I talk to our parents.  It is saner that way. 

31. Husband and I play computer games together.  Our favorite MMO is Guild Wars.  My favorite single player is Oblivion.

32. We are home-bodies.

33. I don’t have any close friends.  I generally like it that way.

34. I love to read.  My (2nd) favorite way to spend alone time is to curl up with a good book in front of the fire place.  Tabby often settles in on my lap and purs.  NT will stretch out in front of the fire and watch from a distance. 

35. My favorite band is Slipknot. I have a fantasy about the guys in Slipknot.  I will have to post it at some point.

36. I love photography.  Some day I will learn to be good at it. 

37. I love the ocean.  It makes me feel closer to God.

 38.  I proposed to Husband.

39. I find “people” overwhelming.

40.  I don’t always play well with others.

41.  I drive a PT cruiser convertiable.  

42. When Husband and I got engaged, he said I could pick either a ring or my car.  I chose the car.  He says I “passed the test”.

 43. I feel apathetic more often than I would like. 

44. I am most attracted to intelligence.  I see that as powerful.

45. I am becoming increasingly attracted to a female coworker.  She just changed departments and now works one office away.  She wears skirts and fuck-me boots quite often.

46. Not only do I fantasize about fucking her, I fantasize about her on her knees giving Husband head.  That would be incrediably hot.

47.  Husband does not currently allow outside people into our marriage.  (Maybe if I bring him to my work and introduce him to her?)

48.  I am a private person.  No one besides Husband really knows me.

49.  I don’t watch much TV.  I have found that I really like sci-fi though .

50.  I believe I should have called this “50 things about me.”  I’m just not that interesting.

51. I fear no one will read this blog.  I fear people will read it.  I fear people will not like me.

52. I don’t particularly like me.  (Not being depressive here, just honest)

53. I lost my virginity at 13.  I did it mostly out of curiosity.  I never had any illusions of it “meaning something.”

54.  I have never used the term “making love” in a serious manner.

55.  I have a personal policy that I  never refuse sex with someone I am in a relationship with.  I think it is mean to withhold.

56. When I told my mother I was getting married to my first husband she said I shouldn’t because if I was married and I got pregnant, I couldn’t have an abortion.  ???

57.  The ex was an unemployed pot smoking loser.  He stole money, lied, cheated etc.

58.  Mother advised me to stay with him. He was supposedly going to change.  He was supposedly a good person.

59. She hated Husband because he is “controlling.”  She cannot accept that I need/desire that control.  She refused to see that he takes care of me.

60. We went back to visit once…she left town.

61. I love giving head.

62. I can cum without being touched.  Especially when giving head.

63. I love to watch a man mastrubate.

64. I get frustrated easily.

65. I am an emotional masochist.  

66.  I procrastinate a lot.

67.  I have been spending too much time reading http://icanhascheezburger.com/

68. I like to be silly sometimes.  It makes Husband laugh.  He is the only person allowed to laugh at me.

69. <— Position I like.

70. I have a difficult time setting boundries.

72.  I keep skipping church.  It makes me anxious.

73. I like candles, scented bubble baths, and soft cozy socks.

74. Husband does not let me wear real clothes in the house.

75.  I like taking psychological tests.  I failed the MMPI.

76. I used to swim competitively.

77. Some day I hope Husband will collar me.

78. I am a night owl.

79. I love music.  I always have something playing if Husband is not around. 

80. I love the smell of used books.

81. I would work in a bookstore if not for the pay.

82. Husband will read this journal. I do not have things that are private from him.

83. Husband is much smarter than I am.  Sometimes it is hard not to feel inferior.  Most times I am glad I have someone I can look up to.

84. I consider myself “no limits.” 

85. I need to work out more.  (Maybe working out is a  hard limit?) I read fitness magazines hoping to get motivation.

86. I am not domestic by nature. 

87. Husband likes my cooking.  I do not.  Since I only have to please him, I don’t worry too much about it.

88. I love to travel and explore. 

89. I have a hard time sleeping.  Falling asleep in front of the fireplace is much easier than in bed.

90. I am not allowed to call Husband Sir or Master.  Hence calling him Husband.  I am not allowed to capatalise “Him.” 

91. I am afraid of doctors and especially afraid of psychiatrists.

92. I am claustrophobic but love bondage.

93. I like to dance. 

94. My favourite subject in college was A&P.  My final grade was over 100%. I thought the A&P colouring books were the coolest.

95. I do not understand why people find gardening fun. 

96. I am a coffee addict.  I grind my own beans.  I have my own personal coffee pot at work.  When people want the “good” coffee they come visit me.

97. My dreams are generally scattered and unrealistic.  One day I dream of being a doctor, the next a porn star. One day it could be happy home schooling christian uber-mom and the next it could be web designer. 

98. I like BIG toys.

99. I suck at endings. (I also suck big toys )